Life Changes: Returning To Work

Some of you may know that I am due to return to work shortly. This means that like most working  parents, we now face the difficult decision of who will look after our little gremlin while we are at work. 

We've explored most avenues and hit many brick walls. There's the busy grandparents who are adamant that they will be having bubba, but at 10 months old he is everywhere, and therefore can be quite a handful. Ask me, I spend my days chasing around after him and taking a breather when he finally goes down for a nap. 

We've spent weeks going round in circles. Yes he's definitely going to nursery, but then again maybe he'll be happier with the grandparents...but it will restrict them from going out and doing their things. My head has been a total mess these past few weeks. I knew we'd be taking out a second mortgage by sending him to nursery, and that's only part-time. So we bit the bullet and started settling him in at nursery two weeks before he would start, and what an emotional roller coaster that has been. For myself and my poor little boy! Five sessions later and there's still tantrums and years, from mother and baby. 

How can we justify paying a fortune for childcare when the little gremlin doesn't even settle. He's the happiest little boy who can entertain himself very easily at home. Always exploring, climbing things, going for all the things he shouldn't be going for, but never screaming and crying the way he does when he goes to nursery. Apparently this will happen for a good few weeks, or even months before he finally adapts to life at nursery. How cruel is that. As a mother I can't sit there and listen to my baby crying, I can't drive to work without worrying about how upset he is, let alone completing a full day's work and then getting back to collect him. 

I know that all mums go through this when the returning to work transition begins, I just don't know how they do it. I'm very weak when it comes to my son, I've even thought about packing in nursery altogether and relying on family members to pull together and look after him for a few days a week. That's fine as a temporary arrangement, but after a few weeks or months temporary arrangements just won't cut it. 

Nursery offers me the stability and guaranteed childcare, that's why I refer to it as a second mortgage. I just wish it didn't have to upset my little bubba so much in the process. 

I hope he can forgive me for abandoning him while he's still so young. 

H x 

I'm The Mum Who....

Thank you to firstooth for nominating me to write a post titled 'I am the Mum who...'

So here it is, dedicated to my little boy who in the space of 10 months has turned the least maternal person into the most devoting mum.

I am the mum who:

• Said I wouldn't spoil you, and then I took you to Toni and Guy for your haircut when you were just a few months old.

• Wasn't prepared for motherhood in the slightest, and now I can't imagine my life before I became a mum. 

• Cooks all your meals from scratch because I don't want to feed your jars 

• Cried with you when you had colic and were teething 

• Speaks to you when we are out, and people think I'm talking to myself, oops. 

• Is battling this separation anxiety so that we are both ok when I go back to work

• Has become a rubbish wife/sister/daughter/Aunty because I want to be the best mother

• Misses having a spotless house 

• Wondered what I did with all my time before you came along...?

• Forget to eat because I have 101 things to do that are more important 

• Is still baffled as to how a tiny being can impact our lives so much. You can't even speak yet, how do you influence my daily activities you little gremlin! 

• Hope you fulfill your wildest dreams, and even some of mine that I probably won't get around to fulfilling! (No pressure) 

• Finally understands what unconditional love is.

Most importantly, I'm the mum who now appreciates what my parents went through whilst bringing up me and my siblings. I now understand that when my rents say that parents only want what's best for their children, they actually mean it! 

They Grow So Fast

I saw this post on Facebook a while ago and it makes me feel quite emotional. 

I'm glad I held my boy more than people thought I should. Rocked him, sang to him, cuddled him some more. 

Now at ten months, he doesn't need to be held as much- he's far too independent for that. It's all about crawling about, climbing things and discovering everything in his stride now. You know they are no longer a little baby wen they can hold their bottle, feed themselves and crawl away when it's nappy changing time. 

Forget what everyone says. Make the most of every second with your baby while they are still a baby. As the quote says: he is only a baby for just a while. 

H x